Heart heavy but I pull it alongside
More gracious the bitter taste
Sanguine copper on a strawberry tongue
Defeat urges strategic action
Shifting openly but behind closed doors
Hushed navigation to hasten
Love is –
Not selling your toddler to a Bulgarian circus when he won’t allow you a first trimester coma nap.
Letting said toddler dig his fist halfway down your throat because he thinks it feels funny.
Never peeing/pooping/morning sickness puking-etc alone ever again.
Mickey Mouse clubhouse.
Rediscovering yourself, because who you were before simply wasn’t enough.
Taking ten extra minutes in a time out, simply because you couldn’t possibly be good for him any sooner.
Poop under your fingernail.
Throwing away near all of your previous ambitions and trying desperately to find ways to spread your wings in a way that doesn’t leave raising your children to others.
Seeking God with a sense of desperation so strong that it leaves you racked with sobs at the thought. Doing this without Him is impossible. Your previous agnosticism left you sick; only through Him are you to find healing, strength, and wisdom enough to get through this ultimate, precious challenge.